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Hays Mediation Services
99 Skyline Drive
Morristown, NJ 07960
Phone 973-539-5242
FAX 973-539-5933
info@haysmediation.com
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 FAQ
- What is Mediation?
- Mediation is a process for resolving disputes between/among
two or more parties in which a person acts as a mediator to facilitate the resolution of the dispute(s). A mediator is a process-orientated person who has no vested interest in the outcome. In divorce mediation, the final product is a Memorandum of Understanding, in which all of the agreements are memorialized. The Memorandum of Understanding is drafted by the mediator and reviewed by the divorcing parties. The parties take the Memorandum of Understanding to their
respective attorneys for review.
- Why Mediate?
- Mediation is quicker and costs less than litigation. Mediation is a private and thus confidential process. The mediation process is less stressful on the two of you and especially on your children, which makes it easier to maintain post-divorce relationships, especially for the benefit of the children. In mediation the two of you work out your agreement with the aid of a mediator. Historically, mediated agreements are far more durable than those settled through litigation.
- Is Mediation an appropriate process for every divorcing couple?
- Certain cases are inappropriate for mediation. Examples may be where there has been a history of domestic violence or where one of the parties seems unable to express his or her wants and needs.
- Do I still need an attorney?
- We recommend that each party consult with an attorney during the mediation process. During the mediation, your attorney will counsel you on matters related to the law and your specific rights under the law. At the end of the mediation, the mediator will draft a Memorandum of Understanding, which you will take to your respective attorneys for review. The attorney representing the party who will actually file for the divorce will convert the Memorandum of Understanding into appropriate format as a Property Settlement Agreement for review by the other party’s attorney. The property Settlement Agreement forms the basis upon which the divorce will ultimately be filed and granted.
- How long does the mediation process take?
- We normally meet in two hour sessions. The number of sessions required for the divorce mediation process varies widely. The complexity of parenting and financial matters to be resolved and your ability to put aside your hurt and anger to focus on your future and the future of your children will have an effect on the total number of sessions. Generally, it takes between three and six sessions to complete the process. Some couples are able to resolve parts of their disputes by themselves between sessions.
- How often will we meet?
- Normally we plan to have an interval of at least two weeks between mediation sessions to give each of you time to re-examine all of the agreements made to date, obtain counsel from your respective attorneys and gather additional information if needed.
- Why do we require full financial disclosure?
- There are basically two parts to a Memorandum of Understanding. One is a parenting plan and the other is financial. Both you and your spouse need to have a clear picture of all your financial information in order for the two of you to make informed decisions.
- Is there any time when the mediators could decide to stop the mediation process?
- Mediation is a voluntary process. The parties themselves may choose to terminate the mediation process. A mediator may terminate the process if the mediator feels that one or both of the parties is not negotiating in good faith or if one or both of the parties is withholding financial or other information critical to the negotiation, or if one of the parties is unable to effectively enter into the negotiation process.
- What happens if we reach an impasse?
- If we reach an impasse, we take a break, give ourselves time to review the agreements made to date and take a more objective look at the impasse. Sometimes we go on to other subjects and leave resolving the impasse to a subsequent meeting. If, at the end, all but one or two issues have been resolved, then the unresolved issues may have to be litigated, but that is very rare.
- What is a parenting plan?
- A parenting plan is a plan that you and your spouse develop in mediation to divide the parenting responsibilities between the two of you. It includes the specific schedule that you agree upon for routine parenting that is when your child or children will be with each of you. Previously this was called a visitation schedule. It also covers holidays, vacations and special days like birthdays, Mothers Day and Fathers Day, etc. It is as detailed as you and your spouse believe necessary. And it can be changed as circumstances change, such as the social and independence needs of the children increase, especially in their teenage years. A parenting plan is very beneficial to the children because it gives them a schedule of what to expect, which parent they will be with and when. It keeps the children out of the process of being used as conduits as their parents discuss and agree upon modifications in the parenting plan.
- What is alimony?
- Alimony is also called spousal support. In New Jersey, there are four types of alimony: permanent, rehabilitative, limited duration and reimbursement. One or more of these may be appropriate in a divorce.
Click here to see the specific issues the court considers when awarding alimony in New Jersey. Alimony is normally tax deductible by the party paying it and taxable to the party receiving it.
- What is child support?
- Normally when we hear of child support, we only hear about the amount that one parent pays to the other parent. In fact, child support is the responsibility of both parents. One parent, normally the primary residential parent, is actually responsible for paying the children’s day to day expenses, for which she or he receives support from the other parent. In New Jersey, the amount of child support is based on 10factors: needs of the child; standard of living and circumstances of each parent; all sources of income and assets of each parent; earning ability of each parent; need and capacity of the child for education, including higher education; age and health of the child; responsibility of the parent(s) for court-ordered support of others; reasonable debts and liabilities of each child and parent; and any other factors the court may deem relevant. The NJ Supreme Court mandated
Child Support Guidelines for computing minimum child support. Child support is normally recalculated at least once every three years. Child support is not tax deductible for the person paying it and is not taxable to the one receiving it.
- When does child support end?
- Child support ends for each child when that child is emancipated. By definition, emancipation means that the parents are no longer financially responsible for that child. There is no fixed time when emancipation must occur in New Jersey. It may be as early as the child’s 18th birthday and graduation from high school, or it may be as late as completion of a college education, entry into the armed forces or marriage.
- What is the difference between joint legal custody and sole custody?
- Sole custody is where one parent, normally the primary residential parent, can unilaterally make all decisions related to the children’s health, safety, education and welfare.
- Joint legal custody requires that both parents confer and agree upon major decisions affecting the children’s health, safety, education and welfare. However, minor decisions and decisions taken in emergency situations are usually the responsibility of the poarent with whom the children are with at the time.
- What are grounds for divorce?
- Under New Jersey Statute 2A:34-2, there are nine causes for divorce, commonly called grounds. They are: adultery; willful and continued desertion; extreme cruelty (mental or physical); separation for a period of at least 18 months (no fault); drug addition or habitual drunkenness; institutionalization for mental illness; imprisionment for 18 months; deviant sexual behavior; or irrecincilable differences.
Click here for details.
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