The Marital Home

There has been a great deal written about all aspects of divorce mediation, however in all our reading we have seen very little about the importance of the marital home.

The marital home plays a critical role in all aspects of the divorce process. This is particularly true when there are children in the home. Besides its intrinsic value, the home represents the very foundation of the family life. The memories, birth of children, family holidays, parties and celebrations or just a safe and quiet place to come home to. There are also the struggles like death and illness, financial difficulties, fighting, unwanted chores and responsibilities. For some there are things in the house that are especially important to one or all of us. For example, a family heirloom that belonged to a loved one, kids pictures, china and dinnerware that were wedding presents, comfortable furniture, etc. On the othet hand, for many couples the house is their anchor and sense of status, which gave them an identity that they will lose if they decide to sell it.

robably the most important factor in making decisions regarding the marital home is money. For most couples, their home is their most valuable asset, which needs to be divided so that both of them can move on with their lives. This is the most practical decision regardless of how disruptive it may be. Still there are those whose houses have caused substantial debt and perhaps are “under water”. They may lose their homes and have to negotiate the debt they have incurred.

As you can see, the marital home is a mixed bag full of emotional content which can have a significant effect on your decision making process. None of this is easy and requires the services of a skilled mediator to guide you through the mine fields of this whole experience so that you and your children can move on with your lives. In more than three decades as divorce mediators, we have encountered all of them and more.

We look forward to being of service to you in this very critical time of your lives.

Beverly & George Hays